


cat whisperer

by keptein



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Non-binary character, Trans Male Character, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:01:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6428974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keptein/pseuds/keptein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“‘Single man with nice apartment in Tokyo is cat whisperer. Come let me have a look at your cat. I am amazing with them.’” The voice on the phone - Bokuto - recites the ad in its entirety, and every word in his excitable baritone makes Tetsurou want to dig a deeper and deeper pit.</p><p>“Buddy - Bokuto-san, was it? Listen..” But there's no way he can tell this stranger that it was a bad, drunken pussy joke, egged on by equally drunken, enabling friends. “That was a joke."</p><p>“Oh.” Bokuto sounds heartbroken. That one exhale - oh - and it sounds like his life is over, like Tetsurou’s killed every chance his cat had at ever having a future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cat whisperer

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this twitter thread](https://twitter.com/tivruskis/status/604625626754973696?s=09), so partial credit goes to the great oikaywas! thank you very much to schaaf and bishop for looking this over. HAPPY BOKUKURO DAY Y'ALL!! also don't fatshame cats.

“Hello?”

“Hi, my name's Bokuto! I'm calling about the cat ad?”

Tetsurou blinks and rubs his eyes. “You've got the wrong number, buddy. I don't have any cats.”

“No, no, the cat whisperer ad! Are you Kuroo-san?”

“Eh? Yeah. I don't remember any cat whisperer ad..”

“‘Single man with nice apartment in Tokyo is cat whisperer. Come let me have a look at your cat. I am amazing with them.’” The voice on the phone - Bokuto - recites the ad in its entirety, and every word in his excitable baritone makes Tetsurou want to dig a deeper and deeper pit.

“Buddy - Bokuto-san, was it? Listen..” But there's no way he can tell this stranger that it was a bad, drunken pussy joke, egged on by equally drunken, enabling friends. “That was a joke.”

“Oh.” Bokuto sounds heartbroken. That one exhale -  _ oh _ \- and it sounds like his life is over, like Tetsurou’s killed every chance his cat had at ever having a future.

Tetsurou rubs his eyes again. “I'm still pretty good with them, though. Cats, I mean. They like me.”

“Really?” Bokuto sounds excited again, voice rising. “That's awesome! Here's the sitch, I'm pretty jacked, right, and I wanna make my cat jacked too, but she never listens to me, and she's pretty fat, so I was like.. wondering how I get my cat to be ripped? Like, what's the training regimen, y’know?”

A pause. “What?”

“What’s the problem?”

“You want your cat.. Ripped?”

“Yeah! That’s what I just said, no?”

Tetsurou laughs, holding the phone away as he cackles. “Holy shit, man,” he wheezes into the phone. “Are you high?”

“Not right now,” Bokuto replies, and he sounds offended. “Hey, are you gonna help me out or not?”

“Help you.. Make your cat ripped.”

“Yes! But I’d settle for like, less fat. She’s  _ really _ fat right now.”

“No, man.”

“I'll pay you! An hourly wage, yeah? Consulting fee. You can set it, come on.”

“Just to get your cat to exercise?”

“Yeah!”

And so it happens that Kuroo Tetsurou, twenty four, agrees to train a cat he’s never met for a guy he doesn’t know.

He’s said yes to worse.

*

Bokuto’s place is an apartment in a massive complex, not unlike Tetsurou’s own. He’s surprised this one allows pets - his doesn’t, or he would have plenty of cats of his own. He rings the doorbell with an air of suspicion, shifting his weight.

‘Come to my house,’ Bokuto had told him over the phone. ‘I’m not kidding, alright, she won’t leave ‘cause she hates exercise,  _ please _ help me!’ It was a plea that Tetsurou, kind as he was, couldn’t turn down, but it hits him now that he should’ve let Kenma know where he was going, just in case this guy turns out to be a very odd serial killer.

The door opens with a bang, making Tetsurou jump. “Hey!” The man in the doorway exclaims loudly. “Sorry to startle you! I’m Bokuto!”

“I figured,” Tetsurou says, giving a one-handed wave. “I’m Kuroo.”

“Excellent,” the guy says with feeling. His hair is a black and white mess, partly dyed and so thick it’s standing up in tufts.

His eyes are amber, such a bright brown they almost seem golden.

“Aren’t you worried your cat will run away?” Tetsurou asks after a short pause.

Bokuto snorts and beckons Tetsurou inside. “I wish,” he says. “C’mon, let me introduce you - would you like anything?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Tetsurou replies politely, toeing off his shoes and following Bokuto into the living room.

The cat is lying on the middle of the kotatsu, one of the few pieces of furniture in the room. Bokuto wasn’t lying - she’s fat. She looks downright spoiled, and very happy about it, which Tetsurou suspects is much of the problem. He crouches down to greet her, and she sniffs curiously at his hand.

“Hello,” he says. “What's your name?”

“She's Cat,” Bokuto adds helpfully.

“I know she's a cat, thanks.”

“No, I mean - that's her name, it's just Cat. She's called Cat.”

Tetsurou gives him a look. “That's the laziest name I've ever heard.”

Bokuto crosses his arms, brows drawing together. “She likes it! She responds to it!”

“Alright,” Tetsurou says with a slight laugh, stroking Cat carefully. She doesn't move away, either because she likes it or because she's too lazy not to.

She is, just like her owner, oddly cute and charming in all the wrong ways.

“Right,” he says, getting to his feet and clearing his throat. “Have you tried feeding her less?”

“She gets to the cat food no matter what I do,” Bokuto says. Tetsurou suspects that isn't quite true, but he doesn't know Bokuto well enough to poke fun at him yet.

Or whatever. “Sure,” he says, and smirks at the grimace Bokuto makes. “She's an indoor cat, right? Have you tried taking her for a walk?”

“You can take cats for walks?” Bokuto asks, flabbergasted. “I thought that was dogs only!”

“No… you can walk cats too.”

“Oh,” Bokuto says. “Well, but I don't know how to do it - you have to show me!”

“Show you how to walk your cat?” Tetsurou asks incredulously. Bokuto nods. 

“I’ll pay you! For your services.” He looks completely serious, and for some reason Tetsurou finds himself nodding before he can quite get his mind around the situation. 

“Do you have a leash..?”

“A leash? It’s not like she’s gonna run away, look at her.”

“You still need a leash,” Tetsurou says mildly. “You could get fined if you don’t.”

“What?  _ Fined? _ Jeez, fine.. We’ll have to go buy one, then!”

“Now?”

“Yes, now. Or are you busy?”

Again, Tetsurou finds himself reacting before he can quite think it through. “Sure,” he says. “No, I’m not busy. You’re a whirlwind of a guy, huh?”

Bokuto gives him a surprised, pleased grin, canines glinting. “You know it,” he replies. “Come along, then! Cat, stay put.” He rubs her head and she meows contentedly.

Totally spoiled, Tetsurou concludes.

Outside it’s bright, the sun still shining as brightly as it did when Tetsurou walked to Bokuto’s. “Wow, it’s so sunny!” Bokuto says. “You’re right, a walk in this weather is great.”

“Mhm,” Tetsurou says. “Do you know where we’re going?”

“Oh, yeah, there’s a pet shop over there,” Bokuto says, pointing vaguely. “So, what do you do, Kuroo?”

“I’m an engineering student.”

“No shit, get out of here! That’s awesome, how come you need craigslist money?”

“Oh, you know.. Rent ‘n stuff.”

“So you don’t live at home, then? How old are you, anyway?”

“Twenty four. I’m doing my Master’s.”

“We’re the same age! That’s so cool!”

“Super cool,” Tetsurou says dryly.

Bokuto nods sagely. “Oh, look, it’s over there!” He points out a colourful pet shop, windows decorated with paw prints. “That’s where I get all of Cat’s stuff from.”

“It’s close.”

“I know. It’s actually what made me get a pet, I walked by it one day and then I was like, hey! Imagine having a real live animal in your living room all the time, you know?”

“Not really,” Tetsurou said. Bokuto held the door open for him as they stepped into the store.

“And then - ‘cause I travel quite a bit, for work, I thought a cat would be best. You know?”

Tetsurou rears his head to find the leashes, guiding Bokuto along when he does. “Traveling? What do you do?”

“I’m a professional athlete,” Bokuto says, chest puffing out proudly. “I play volleyball.”

“No shit,” Tetsurou replies, impressed. “That’s pretty cool.”

“I know! Right? It’s super cool, I know! I love it. You should come see me play sometime. Us, I mean, the team.”

“Volleyball’s not really my sport…”

“What? Oh, that’s just ‘cause you haven’t seen me play yet. What are you into, then?”

“Wrestling,” Tetsurou says with a shrug. “I wanted to get into it in high school, but mine didn’t have a club, and everything else was too far away.”

“I see,” Bokuto says thoughtfully. “Well, wrestling’s cool. Not as cool as v-ball, though!” He says the acronym with a silly grin and a peace sign, and Tetsurou can’t help but laugh. Bokuto’s smile turns pleased.

Then it occurs to Tetsurou that they’re having this conversation in the middle of a pretty busy pet store, and they actually came here for a reason. He clears his throat. “So, which leash do you think Cat would like best?”

“This one,” Bokuto says, holding up a pink, fluffy piece. “She likes pink.”

“Sure,” Tetsurou says. “Let's buy it, then.” All of a sudden, he’s itching to be alone, away from Bokuto's big, bright eyes.

They buy it without much fuss, Bokuto strolling back to his place, Tetsurou following. Bokuto is chatty guy - on the short walk back he covers two years’ worth of matches, gets Tetsurou to talk about his degree, and talks about Cat’s diet at length. Contrary to Tetsurou’s first impression, it seems like Bokuto truly cares about his cat, and it makes his rambling seem somehow charming.

“So we should totally take her for a walk now, right? While the weather's still good!”

“I should really -” Tetsurou starts, and then stops, because Bokuto's eyes are wide and imploring.

“But I don't know what to do! What if we meet another cat! What's the etiquette, you know? I don't know that shit, that's why I need a guy like you around!”

“I'm sure you'll be fine,” Tetsurou says. Bokuto's gaze doesn't waver, unrelentingly puppy-like. “... but I can come along. Just to make sure you don't mortally offend anyone.”

“Thank you!” Bokuto says, wiping sweat from his brow in mock relief.

And so it happens that Kuroo Tetsurou, twenty four, agrees to - fuck it. Bokuto's a cool guy, if weird. Despite himself, Tetsurou decides to stick around.

*

“Hey, Kuroo!”

“Bokuto?”

“Yeah, hey! Listen, I was wondering if you wanna come over next Sunday too? To walk Cat! I could buy you a coffee for your trouble..?”

“You don't think you can walk her on your own?”

“No..! Uh, no, she's - what if she ran away, you know. I need some supervision. A second pair of arms in case she tries to book it.”

“I thought that was the problem, that she doesn't book it.”

Bokuto laughs, warm and tingling in Tetsurou’s ear. “That's true! Anyway, so about Sunday?”

“Yeah, okay. I'll come over.”

“Okay! Sweet! I mean, thanks! I mean, uh, see you then! Bye!”

*

Tetsurou can't really place the date it becomes routine. It would have been the first time he came over without Bokuto asking him to, but that never happens - Bokuto is everywhere, making Tetsurou’s phone blow up with texts and calls and pictures of Cat. “She's getting thinner,” Bokuto brags over the phone. “She's totally getting buff, bro, I can tell, she'll even play with me for ten minutes at a time now.”

Tetsurou pretends like the image of Bokuto excitedly playing with his cat isn't utterly adorable. 

"I'll be over on Sunday," he promises. "I'll measure her."

"You're the man!" Bokuto says enthusiastically. "Dinner's on me."

"Oh, you don't have to -"

"No, no, I insist, c'mon, you're going through all this hassle, 'course I need to pay you back. See you Sunday!"

*

Tetsurou's not blind. It's clear as day how attractive Bokuto is, it's not even a question of hotness, just pure aesthetic appreciation. He also gets the feeling Bokuto wouldn't turn him down if he made a move, but.. something's keeping Tetsurou back.

Maybe it's Bokuto's schedule, the allusions he makes to being away for weeks at a time. Maybe it's his dysphoria, unfortunately prone to flaring during sex with semi-strangers, resulting in abrupt pulling away and awkward goodbyes. Maybe it's just the fact that with Bokuto - Tetsurou has a hard time seeing how it'd be just sex. And he'd miss his Sundays with Cat, if he’s reading this situation wrong and Bokuto would reject him after all.

Yeah, that's it. It's the Sundays with Cat it comes down to, those are what he can’t risk.

"So," Bokuto says while they're out on a walk with her, voice muffled by a giant scarf. "How's your week been?"

"Good," Tetsurou says. "Why are you wearing that? It's October."

"I get cold easily," Bokuto whines. "Just my throat, though! My hands could be ice blocks and I'm fine, I just need a scarf."

"That's weird."

Bokuto laughs. "I know. It's comfortable, though, feel it." He holds out the end of his scarf and Tetsurou runs his hands over it.

"It's like Cat's fur."

"Mm.. c'mere, girl!" Bokuto picks Cat up unceremoniously, pressing her into his chest and posing for Tetsurou. "What do you think? This is my new scarf."

"Very fashionable," Tetsurou says with a slight smile, watching Cat make herself comfortable against the nape of Bokuto's neck. It does look like a nice place to rest, soft and intimate.

"I'm going to own the catwalk with this. Ha! Catwalk!"

"Ha," Tetsurou mocks, but he's laughing, and only Cat's quiet meowing gets Bokuto to stop entertaining him and put her down, scratching behind her ear.

“Hey, hold her leash for a sec, yeah?” Bokuto gives Tetsurou the leash without waiting for a reply, almost skipping over to a coffee stand. Tetsurou watches him go with bemusement, but doesn't reject the coffee Bokuto comes back with. It's just as sweet as he likes it.

They sit down on a bench, Cat jumping up and curling into herself on Bokuto's lap.

“She's definitely thinner,” Tetsurou concedes between sips. “She's looking good.”

“I know,” Bokuto says fondly, petting her. He has to push his scarf away to drink his coffee, and Tetsurou watches him with a slight smile. “She could be buffer, though. Do you think I could get her weights?”

“Cat weights? Nah, man. You'll fuck up her musculature.”

“I guess,” Bokuto sighs. He turns his head to grin at Tetsurou. “You're one smart guy, Kuroo. Thanks for sticking around.”

“Thanks for the coffee,” Tetsurou says dryly in response, holding it up, and Bokuto laughs.

*

“Hey, what's this?”

“What?”

“This pamphlet.”

“What? Oh..” Bokuto looks uncomfortable. “Thought I'd thrown that away.”

“I didn't mean to nose,” Tetsurou says. “I'll leave it if you want -”

“It's a support group thing for transmasculine people,” Bokuto says. He clears his throat. “Someone told them I might be trans, I guess, they sent me that in the post.. I can't go, ‘cause I'm not exactly out, but.. they're not wrong. I was meaning to tell you anyway, I trust you, so.”

“No shit,” Tetsurou says.

There's a pause. “So,” Bokuto says uncertainly. “Are we cool, or..?”

“I'm trans too.”

“ _ Eh _ \- what, really? Holy shit! High five, bro! Hey, do you know this support group, then, do you go to it -”

“Not… that way, Bokuto.”

Bokuto stops.

“Oh, right. Wait, have I been misgendering you this whole time! Oh, no! Oh, man, I’m so sorry -”

Kuroo waves for him to stop speaking. “I’m nonbinary, I don’t really care about pronouns. You’re fine.”

“Oh, phew.” Bokuto wipes his brow. “Gender’s a fuckin’ mess, huh?”

“Basically. Where’s Cat?”

“In the living room, hold on, let me get her collar -”

They probably look like a couple, Tetsurou thinks as they walk through the park, Bokuto chatting avidly and waving Cat’s leash around. He doesn’t mind the idea.

*

“Kuroo!”

“... hello?”

“Kuroo! Big news!”

“Bokuto, it’s - oh my God, it’s  _ 3am _ …”

“Yeah, I know! Listen, I just taught Cat a trick! A trick, Kuroo!”

Tetsurou rubs his eyes. “Congratulations. I’m gonna hang up now.”

“No - no, wait, not yet! Don’t you wanna hear what she did?”

“...alright, tell me.”

“She  _ sat _ ,” Bokuto says proudly, as if that isn’t a thing cats do all the time.

“You called me at  _ 3am _ and you didn’t even get her to give paw? Bokuto! Cats sit down all the time!”

“Wh-- come on! It was on command, I swear! And giving paw is hard, okay, we’re still working on that one.”

“Go to  _ sleep _ ,” Tetsurou says. “Like I am doing. Right now.”

“Fine, fine. Aren’t you excited, though?”

“About Cat sitting down? Not particularly.”

“Kuroo…”

“...if she did it on command, though, that’s pretty cool.  _ If _ she did it.”

“I’ll take it! Good night, man.”

“Good night. Go to sleep.”

“I will, I will. And I’ll dream of you and everything.”

Tetsurou laughs sleepily. “Sure, man. Bye.”

“...bye.”

*

It’s getting warm again outside. The weekly walks have become tradition now, a routine as familiar as going to class.

Afterwards, Tetsurou stays for a cup of coffee, or dinner if they both have time. Bokuto said he travels, but he's only gone twice over the half a year Tetsurou gets to know him, and even then it's only for a week or two at a time.

“So that's when  _ I  _ said, maybe you should start minding your own business and leave me alone, you know? I don't need that sort of stuff in my life.”

“You don't,” Tetsurou agrees, scratching Cat's ear. She's curled up in his lap on the couch, purring happily, as Bokuto takes up the other end and gestures wildly.

“Anyway, after that he's been leaving me alone, and that was on Tuesday, so I think I'm in the clear.. Finally! Man, it was so awkward.”

“Surely a physical therapist crushing on you is a breach of something or other.”

“I dunno, man. It was  _ weird _ .”

“Mm, I'm sure.”

Bokuto sighs, whole body slumping with it, and Tetsurou looks over at him.

Cat licks at his index finger and he pets her absently.

“Hey: Total topic change,” he says, and Bokuto turns his head towards him with an acknowledging grunt. 

“Go ahead.”

“Why have you never made a move on me?”

Bokuto gapes.

“Excuse  _ me _ ,” he says. “Are you kidding?”

“Uh… no.”

“I made a move on you like fifty billion times! I asked you out for coffee, I told you to - bro, you think I couldn't have figured out how to walk a cat on my own? It's not like she'd run away!”

“Oh… yeah, that was kinda weird.”

“You are  _ super hot,”  _ Bokuto says insistently, leading forwards on the couch. “Like,  _ super hot! _ I tried to get you into bed all the time when we first met!”

“No way.”

“Pfsh, yeah way!” Bokuto shakes his head. “You’re way more unobservant than I gave you credit for. Boo.”

“Hey, don’t boo me,” Tetsurou says weakly, trying to wrap his head around the whole situation. He crosses his legs and Cat jumps off his lap, padding off to the kitchen for food. “So, you did, huh?”

“I did,” Bokuto says, and he looks a little annoyed about it. “I figured you weren’t interested, so I moved on. You’re a great guy to have around anyway, it’s not like I’ve been strugglin’ without the d.”

“Without the -” Tetsurou repeats, and then laughs. “God, Bokuto, you’re something else.”

“I know,” he says with a grin, something he must have picked up from Tetsurou - a dangerous thing, all the more wicked and alluring on Bokuto’s features. Then his face smoothes out again, lips pursing with insecurity. “So, uh… why did you ask? Was there any reason, or…?”

“Just wondering,” Tetsurou says automatically, and Bokuto slumps.

“Right.”

“No,” he corrects himself. “Actually. I’m, uh, pretty into you.”

Bokuto’s quiet.

This is a rarity.

“So…” Tetsurou hazards, then looks over at Bokuto - his mouth is open and his eyes are round, as wide as Tetsurou’s ever seen them.

“You’re into  _ me? _ ”

“...yup.”

“ _ You’re _ . Into  _ me?” _

“That’s what I just said, yeah.”

Bokuto lunges forward, startling Tetsurou, before he stops and takes a deep breath. “Can I kiss you or is that weird,” he says, so fast that it’s almost one word, and Tetsurou barely has time to nod before Bokuto’s lips are on his, hot and claiming. Bokuto knows how to kiss, and Tetsurou spares a thought to wonder who he’s kissed before, if he’s kissed anyone recently -

Then Bokuto’s fingers are tightening in his hair and he’s laughing into his mouth, and Tetsurou finds it hard to concentrate on anything else. “This is so  _ stupid _ ,” Bokuto gets out between kisses, fast, hard pecks. “We could’ve been doing this the whole time!”

“Yeah,” Tetsurou says, pressing forward to nip at his bottom lip.

“We could’ve been - you could’ve been  _ staying over _ , and - and I could’ve been kissing you, we could’ve been having sex  _ all this time _ , let me tell you, I give a  _ mean _ blowjob, you’ve been missing out -”

Tetsurou pushes him back so he falls against the sofa, Tetsurou between his legs, gold eyes wide and blinking. “Do you ever shut up?”

Bokuto’s lips pull into a grin, wide and sleazy, looking up at him with lidded eyes. “That’s for you to find out,” he says. Tetsurou rolls his hips against Bokuto’s, cock half-hard against Bokuto’s crotch, and Bokuto loses his smile, moaning in surprise.

“Can I go down on you?”

Bokuto swallows and nods, legs spreading wider. “Be my guest,” he says, wetting his lips. “And then you should fuck me after. If you wanna, but, hey, have you  _ seen _ me, who wouldn’t wanna, except if you don’t, then that’s cool, too, I mean, hey, right, each man to his own -”

“Fuck, you really babble, huh.”

Bokuto pauses before laughing, a little sheepish. “I really do,” he says, a touch apologetic. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Tetsurou says, leaning down and kissing him, fingers pushing his shirt up and stroking over his front. “I’ll just have to occupy your mouth.”

“Cheesy, but adorable,” Bokuto says with a smile, lifting up to take his shirt off. Tetsurou allows himself a moment to stare. That’s been the best part about the weather turning warmer - seeing Bokuto slowly shed layer after layer has been a quiet blessing, and it’s with a touch of awe that Tetsurou reaches out to touch him now.

“You okay with me touching your chest?”

“Yeah, I’m good with it all, go right ahead. You?”

Tetsurou pauses. “Most of it,” he says. “I’ll tell you if you fuck up.”

Bokuto shrugs. “Alright,” he says. “C’mere.” He tugs Tetsurou down by his hair, sharp enough that Tetsurou winces, and then kisses him deeply, smiling into his mouth.

Tetsurou trails kisses down Bokuto’s throat, skating his lips over his chest, athletic and powerful. He’s just sucking a bruise into Bokuto’s hip, Bokuto’s hands stroking encouragingly through his hair as he babbles something Tetsurou can’t hear, when they’re interrupted by a sharp bang. Tetsurou sits up, blinking, to see that Cat’s pushed a glass of water off the table, looking at them both expectantly.

Bokuto groans. “Cat, come on! I'm trying to get laid here!”

Tetsurou laughs. “I can go clean up,” he says. “After that we should take this to the bedroom.”

“You truly are the man of my dreams,” Bokuto says, fluttering his eyelashes. Tetsurou snorts and gets up, getting a rag from the kitchen to soak up the water.

When he returns, Bokuto is telling Cat off, wagging his finger at her. “No interrupting this time, you hear me? I know you think it’s fun to claw at the bedroom door when I shut it, but none of that this time. There’s loads of food for you in the kitchen, go snack on that instead, alright?”

“Betraying your own principles,” Tetsurou comments. “Encouraging your cat to eat.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures, shut up.”

“Oh, I’m not complaining, I’d rather we got this show on the road without interruptions…”

“You are such a  _ nerd _ ,” Bokuto says gleefully, coming close and wrapping his arms around Tetsurou’s neck. “You say the silliest things, you know that?”

“You’re one to talk.”

“I know,” Bokuto laughs, and kisses him. “Bedroom time, c’mon, stallion.”

_ “Stallion _ ,” Tetsurou gripes, following Bokuto into the bedroom. “You stink of hypocrisy.”

Bokuto laughs again. “I  _ know _ ,” he says and pulls Tetsurou with him down onto the bed, kissing him deeply, lips eager on his. “Now, you said somethin’ earlier, and I don’t wanna be pushy, but hey, I’m not gonna turn it down, either…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tetsurou says, struggling with the buttons on Bokuto’s jeans. “Get naked and then we’ll talk.”

“Sounds like the title of a pop song,” Bokuto replies, lifting his hips up to help Tetsurou until he’s gloriously naked, stretching out.

He’s truly an athlete, Tetsurou muses appreciatively, running his hands over Bokuto’s toned sides, down to his muscular thighs while Bokuto chatters away.

“- and you could be in really tight pants, I’d be a huge fan of that, front row material for sure -  _ oh _ , oh, yes, fucking  _ finally _ , you’re putting that mouth to good use -”

Tetsurou doesn’t respond, too busy burying his face between Bokuto’s thighs, licking intently.

“ _ God _ , fuck, holy shit, yes, you are - hah,  _ very _ talented, oh, oh, oh, my  _ God _ -”

Bokuto sounds like a broken record above him. Tetsurou sucks, eyes closing in pleasure when Bokuto’s powerful thighs press against his ears, Bokuto’s fingers in his hair insistently holding him down as Bokuto rolls his hips desperately - and rolls, and  _ rolls _ -

Bokuto comes with a sharp grunt, shuddering, thighs falling apart again. Tetsurou sits up, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “Can I still fuck you?”

Bkuto nods hazily, still coming down, and Tetsurou grins, shedding his clothing. “ _ Ah, _ you’re gorgeous,” Bokuto says softly. Tetsurou didn’t know he’d been paying attention, but now his hands are reaching out to touch him, fingers spread.

“Thank you,” Tetsurou says. Bokuto’s compliment is as honest as the rest of him, and it cuts right to Tetsurou’s core, but he hides it with a wink and a quick smirk. “Do you have a condom?”

“Nightstand.” Bokuto nods towards it and Tetsurou reaches over, ruffling through different papers until he finds one, ripping it open with his teeth. “Y’know, you’re not supposed to do that.”

“No shit,” Tetsurou says, rolling the condom onto his cock. “Tell me more.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it can -  _ ah _ , oh,  _ fuck _ , yeah, you feel good - you can rip the condom ‘n then you’ve - hah - wasted a perfectly good condom -”

“Mhm,” Tetsurou says, resting his head on Bokuto’s shoulder when he bottoms out. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”

“You don’t have to  _ tell  _ me -” Bokuto starts, laughing, but Tetsurou kisses the rest of the words out of his mouth, starting to thrust - Bokuto’s mouth falls open in a gasp, breath hitching, clumsily pressing up to kiss him again.

Finally, Bokuto’s non-verbal, reduced to moans and stutters as Tetsurou fucks him, both of them groaning into each other’s mouths - distantly, Tetsurou can hear Cat scratching at the closed door, but he doesn’t have a thought to spare, and Bokuto certainly doesn’t seem to care where he’s lying, arching and shifting, looking so tempting Tetsurou has to bend and kiss him again, wet and hot and hungry.

He puts his hand where they’re joined, finds Bokuto’s clit and rubs it - the moan Bokuto rewards him with is loud and desperate, arching up. “F-fuck, I’m close,” he babbles, mouth running again, “I’m close, God, Kuroo, let me -  _ fuck _ , yes, more, oh,  _ ah-- _ !”

Bokuto’s louder this time, fingers digging into Tetsurou’s back when he comes, the almost-pain of it pushing Tetsurou over the edge, making him bite into Bokuto’s shoulder to stifle his moan as he comes, pleasure white hot and all-encompassing.

When he comes down, Bokuto’s talking again. “- was good, so  _ good _ , you’re an incredible fuck, ‘m still mad we could’ve been doing this the whole time…”

“Bokuto,” Tetsurou groans, pulling out and tying up the condom, throwing it in the trash. “Cuddle time is quiet time.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bokuto says. Tetsurou wraps himself around him, smiling into his shoulder. “Is that okay, me callin’ you that?”

“Mhm.”

“Good. I like being the little spoon, by the way… so this is nice.”

Tetsurou hums again, eyes closing. “Cuddle time is quiet time, Bokuto.”

“Right, right, sorry. Just… one last thing?”

“Alright.”

“Call me Koutarou, yeah?”

“...yeah. Okay. Koutarou.”

“Can I call you Tetsurou?”

“Yeah.”

“Hell yeah! Oh, man, I’m gonna tell - well, if you’re cool with it, of course, but you’re  _ awesome _ , I really like you, and everyone already knows who you are, so -”

“Koutarou.”

“Yeah?”

“Cuddle time is quiet time.”

“Oh… yeah. Okay..”

Tetsurou’s smile widens, pressing it into Koutarou’s shoulderblade.

“... so, like, do you -”

“ _ Quiet. Time _ .”

“Okay, okay. I got it. ....Cat’s really scratching at that door, though. We should let her in. She’d love to lie with us.”

“She’ll smell like sex.”

“ _ Gross _ , dude, that’s my cat!”

“What? I’m just being honest… anyway, I already told you, shut up for five seconds and let me cuddle you, yeah?”

“Alright, alright. Tetsurou.”

“Good.”

Tetsurou gets a few moments of blissful silence before Koutarou opens his mouth again. “Wait.”

“Hm?”

“Cat whisperer… pussy cat whisperer…  _ pussy whisperer -  _ oh, my God, this whole time it was a pussy joke!”

Tetsurou yawns. “Yup.”

“Oh, my God! You didn’t tell me! It was a - and you - okay, that’s pretty funny, actually.” Koutarou laughs a little. “You got to be a cat whisperer  _ and _ a pussy whisperer.”

“Never say this to me ever again.”

“Aw, boo…”

“I’m enforcing the quiet time rule.”

Koutarou sighs, relaxing back into Tetsurou. “Okay. I like you a lot.”

“I like you a lot, too.”

“Even if I call you pussy whisperer?”

“Even if you call me pussy whisperer.”

“That’s how you know it’s true love,” Koutarou says, and Tetsurou laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on [tumblr](http://tivruskis.tumblr.com) | [twitter](http://twitter.com/tivruskis) for more bokukuro stuff and just.. general.. talk to me about bokuto. [curiouskurona drew fanart!!! view it here and marvel at its perfection.](http://volleybarbie.tumblr.com/post/146367122412/tetsurou-cant-really-place-the-date-it-becomes)


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